Fear(Less)

“It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.” -Marcus Aurelius

I am presently 17 days away from my 30th birthday and for the first time in my life I have reached the realization that I don’t hate working, I just hate working for other people. I hate having my schedule dictated, I hate the politics of the workplace, and I definitely hate the unnecessary drama that seems to take place from time to time. I always opt to play it safe and with each passing day, I grow more and more frustrated. As my family grows, what I realize is that I have more to lose by remaining fearful of taking a chance on what truly matters to me.

I realize that it’s natural to be fearful in life. Not knowing what to expect when taking a risk is something to fear. But I have been fearful to the point that I start something and then don’t finish it. I have been that way for years. But now, I’m realizing being at a job that I don’t like is taking me away from my daughter. And with baby number two on the way, I definitely don’t want to be pulled away to work somewhere I don’t like. I have to get over my fear (and my impatience) and start doing the work that’s necessary to get to what I truly want to be doing with my life. I want to be home with my children, but I also want to work from home. So I need to figure out that balance and thankfully I have a husband who is supporting this goal of mine! If I’m going to work, I may as well take a risk on what I love because I’m already failing at what I don’t like!  

So I need to come up with a game plan. A generic, foolproof plan to follow would definitely work in my favor. And off the top of my head these are the things that come to mind:

  • Pray
  • Patienceclark-tibbs-367075-unsplash
  • Trust
  • Patience
  • Positive thinking
  • Patience

I have never lost sight of what I truly want, but I have never maintained the patience that is necessary to get to where I want to be. But I realize now that I have far more to lose

 by staying where I am in life. So scared or not (mostly scared) I’m going after the things that truly matter. I only have this one life to live. I spent my twenties being young, dumb, and scared. I can’t afford to take that mindset into my thirties. If I want my children to live their best lives and believe that can achieve any dreams, then I need to set that example for them. 

Life is meant to be lived. It’s time I start living!

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