Fear(Less)

“It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.” -Marcus Aurelius

I am presently 17 days away from my 30th birthday and for the first time in my life I have reached the realization that I don’t hate working, I just hate working for other people. I hate having my schedule dictated, I hate the politics of the workplace, and I definitely hate the unnecessary drama that seems to take place from time to time. I always opt to play it safe and with each passing day, I grow more and more frustrated. As my family grows, what I realize is that I have more to lose by remaining fearful of taking a chance on what truly matters to me.

I realize that it’s natural to be fearful in life. Not knowing what to expect when taking a risk is something to fear. But I have been fearful to the point that I start something and then don’t finish it. I have been that way for years. But now, I’m realizing being at a job that I don’t like is taking me away from my daughter. And with baby number two on the way, I definitely don’t want to be pulled away to work somewhere I don’t like. I have to get over my fear (and my impatience) and start doing the work that’s necessary to get to what I truly want to be doing with my life. I want to be home with my children, but I also want to work from home. So I need to figure out that balance and thankfully I have a husband who is supporting this goal of mine! If I’m going to work, I may as well take a risk on what I love because I’m already failing at what I don’t like!  

So I need to come up with a game plan. A generic, foolproof plan to follow would definitely work in my favor. And off the top of my head these are the things that come to mind:

  • Pray
  • Patienceclark-tibbs-367075-unsplash
  • Trust
  • Patience
  • Positive thinking
  • Patience

I have never lost sight of what I truly want, but I have never maintained the patience that is necessary to get to where I want to be. But I realize now that I have far more to lose

 by staying where I am in life. So scared or not (mostly scared) I’m going after the things that truly matter. I only have this one life to live. I spent my twenties being young, dumb, and scared. I can’t afford to take that mindset into my thirties. If I want my children to live their best lives and believe that can achieve any dreams, then I need to set that example for them. 

Life is meant to be lived. It’s time I start living!

Reintroduce Myself

Hello, again world!

My name is Krystal and welcome to my blog. My first attempt at this, I was pulling my writing in all different directions and wasn’t necessarily producing work I was proud of. I was just writing for the sake of writing. But now, I’m going to take this blog site much more seriously and push and challenge myself with my writing.

The first challenge is learning how to be more transparent. Not too transparent where every detail of my life is out there for the public, but transparent enough that my readers feel they can relate to me in some kind of way. So to start, I’ve been married for almost three years, I have a soon-to-be two-year-old daughter, and my second child is due to make their arrival in December. I’m a Christian who very much still rough around the edges. I have a passion for writing, reading, painting, and eating. I love HGTV and DIY! Network. I love coffee, but this pregnancy has diverted me more towards tea, which I also love. I have a tendency to ramble, but I always come back to the point I was trying to make…well, almost always!

Ultimately, my goal is to make people feel uplifted and inspired after reading something I wrote. And sometimes that will be a challenge. But it’s a challenge I’m willing to accept because I believe in the power of words.

Disappearing Posts

Over time, posts will start disappearing. I’ve finally decided to stop bouncing around with my writing and just stick to something that matters.

While I love writing poetry because I find it easy, I no longer feel like this blog is the right place to share my poetry, so I will be using platforms like Wattpad, Spillwords, and Twitter to share my poetry. I think Twitter will be the most fun because I’ll be limited to a set number of characters. So naturally the first posts to go will be the poetry.

I have decided to start taking this blog more seriously. I’m going to have to if I want to become a serious writer and blogger.

So that’s basically it for now. This blog is getting a reset.

And eventually this blog post will disappear too!

Writing Hiatus

Well, last weekend I found out I’m pregnant with my second child and that exciting (but very surprising) news put everything to a halt for me. Well, for the most part, all of my creative endeavors came to a halt. I just needed some time to focus on the game-changing news that a new little human will be added to our family in December.

But I’m slowly coming back around to writing. Life has taken me and my family in a new direction, so naturally, I feel that my writing should as well! I’m just excited for the next chapter that is to come and I would like my writing to reflect that accordingly!

Short Attention Span

If there’s one thing for certain, I have a short attention span on a lot of things. One reason is, I genuinely don’t have an interest in whatever is taking place and therefore divert my attention to something that I actually care about. And I’m sure that’s the case with a lot of people. If you don’t care about something, then you don’t care.

But the other reason, is I just have too much going through my brain. I need to eat, I want to write, I have to keep my kid alive, my husband wants to talk, and a million other things. I spend a lot of time trying to figure out where I left off with something. It’s life. And life for me right now is hectic. I’m learning to embrace the hectic and prioritize to make sure the important things get done. And I know it sounds like I’m rambling in this post because I am. The point to this whole thing is that I’m figuring out what requires more attention, even when I don’t want to give it!

Just Relax

If there is one thing I haven’t done in awhile is simply relax. And that’s what I’m doing while on vacation! I’m just relaxing and enjoying the moments. Funnily enough, my creative juices are flowing and I just want to get ideas on paper so that I can develop them. I just feel good and so nothing feels forced right now with writing.

Naturally, I will have posts scheduled out for the next few days because I’ll be out and about adventuring! I just feel good! And I feel happy! I feel like tonight I’ll be doing a good amount of writing!

Writing from the Road

At the present moment I’m in a car heading to Southern Alabama with my family! We’re going to spend a little over a week with my mother, which excites me because I haven’t seen her since Christmas. And this is our first family trip so that also adds to the excitement!

To my surprise, and my husband’s, our tiny tot is doing very well being in her car seat for an extended period of time. She won’t take a nap, but she’s also not pitching a fit, so it’s an overall win! She’ll just have her meltdown once we get to my mom’s.

Now, I haven’t exactly decided if I’m going to write vacation based posts or stay on schedule and work on Operation Poetry Translation! I might just do both!

Days of Discovery

Right now we live with my in-laws. And they live outside the city limits so naturally they’re in the “country”! And while it’s nice to live in a quiet area, the drive is murder getting to basically anywhere. But still it’s quiet and far removed from the pollution of street lamps and lights from buildings at night, so something like stargazing is possible! My daughter has that chance to see the stars at night and the moon, which she loves more than an outdoor Christmas tree. And she gets to see different kinds of birds, and hear frogs, and watch the airplanes from a nearby municipal airport. She can run down the street and inspect the asphalt as she goes. She can examine the dandelion we pick for her when we take her on stroller rides. She gets to see tractors and stacks of hay and cotton field and cows grazing in pastures. And her little eyes take it all in.

My husband and I want our daughter to feel a part of the world around her. So we take her outside when it snows so she can feel the snow. We do the same thing when it rains or when it’s windy. And we have to make conscious efforts to do this because we naturally find it easier to stay inside even though we have no reason to. Every day is a new adventure for her, which means every day is a new adventure for us. And it’s our responsibility to keep finding things for her to discover and enjoy! She’s a happy baby and we plan to keep it that way!

The Smile of a Child

I was having a bad day a few years ago. I’m talking walking-through-Target-mad bad kind of day. I wasn’t a wife or a mother then, so my temper often went uncheck. But this particular day while storming through Target, I went through the children’s department. This little girl was sitting in a basket and just locked her little brown eyes on me. Next thing I know, she broke out into a smile and I couldn’t help but smile back. My bad mood just went away in that instant because if there is one thing that is hard to fight is smiling back at a child. A child’s smile is one of the most innocent and precious things in this world. It’s genuine and honest and a reminder that there’s more good than bad in the world.

And now I have a little girl of my own. I have witnessed her have the same effect on people whenever I take her somewhere. She has that effect on me and my husband every single day! Her smile makes all the difference in the days we have. I don’t take those innocent and precious moments for granted. They don’t last forever.

Rejection

I recently received my first rejection letter for a short story submission. I’m pretty damn happy about it too! I know you’re probably wondering how I could be happy about a rejection and the explanation is simple: I submitted something to be rejected.

It has taken me two years to build up the courage to submit a short story. I alway come up with an excuse as to why I shouldn’t complete the story so that I have something to submit. Being rejected was the biggest reason I wouldn’t follow through with a submission. But this year, I did. And this year, I got rejected. And after that rejection I’m still alive. My desire to write has not been dampened. I don’t feel like a failure. I don’t feel like I’m never going to be successful. I feel like I’m going to take that rejected short story and post it on Wattpad. And from there, I’m going to write another short story and submit that one as well. And if that one gets rejected, it goes on Wattpad too. These rejected short stories won’t die. I see that now. My ability to create will not fizzle out. That’s what that rejection letter has shown me.

So I’m proud of myself! I’m built of stronger stuff than I realized.