Social Media Comparison

I like scrolling through social media. Facebook and Instagram are my favorite to scroll through. Facebook has a tendency to annoy me at times, but then there are times where my timeline is pretty hilarious. But still, I can find myself losing track of time on Instagram and Facebook.

One thing I’ve stopped doing though is comparing myself and my life to what other people are posting on their social media feeds. I mean it’s very easy to post the highlights of our lives. It’s very easy to make ourselves something we aren’t when it comes to our social media accounts. I’ve fallen into that trap. But now, I simply don’t care. I’ve learned how to appreciate what people are sharing about their lives without feeling like I have to get out there and do the same thing. I’ve stopped envying people based on what they put on social media. Many times we’re all different people when we log off our Instagram, Snapchat, and Facebook accounts.

I’ve also stopped caring about what other people are doing on social media because they basically post everything. It’s like nothing is off limits. That genuinely irritates me too. But whatever, we’re all allowed to do what we choose to do with our social media accounts. If I don’t like it, I don’t have to follow it. Easy as that. Gotta love simple solutions to the things that bother us. And again, I used to be that person who posted everything on social media. The more likes, the more accepted I felt. But that’s wrong. When I realized that I tied my self-worth to number of likes I got, I knew it was time for me to change my perspective on why I wanted to use social media.

Over the past few years, I’ve learned to stop being jealous of what people are doing with their lives and sharing on social media. I’ve also learned to stop feeling inadequate because I wasn’t doing the same things as other people. And I’ve stopped posting things just for the sake of likes. If there’s something I want to do, then I’ll do it. And if there’s a place I want to go, then I’ll go. My favorite feature on Instagram is the stories. I can share something and it’s gone within 24 hours. I don’t need to post everything on social media to prove it happened. As my mindsets have changed in regards to social media, I’ve been able to enjoy scrolling through my feeds without feeling like I’m not doing anything with my life. I mean I’m not (just kidding) but I’ve learned to appreciate the lives other people live while loving my own.

The Words that Scare Me

I tend to come up with some great things to write when the words are swirling around in my head. But when it comes time to actually write the words down or type them out, all the words become impossible to transfer over from my mind.

I have this fear that if I write down what’s really going through my head, I’ll see myself in a different light. I’ll be introduced to a side of myself that should be taken seriously. Being a kid at heart is fine and all, but I find that I do tend to show my adult side when writing. There’s nothing wrong with that side. I need to embrace that side of me even more.

I also have this fear of people’s reactions to my words. It’s okay to care, but I care too much! Not everyone is going to like my writing. I need to be okay with that. I have to write for myself first and then share my words from there. I can’t please everyone and that isn’t my goal, but I still let my thoughts get the better of me.

The words that scare me (for whatever reason at the time) simply need to be written one word at a time. I have a lot that I want to say. I have a lot that I want to share. I don’t want to be scared of being myself. I don’t want to be scared to learn about myself along the way as I get better with my writing. I don’t want to be scared to learn about others along the way as I get better with my writing. I just have to face whatever scares me head on with my writing and find assurance that things will work out for the better more than for the worst.

Breaking the Cycle

“Sometimes it’s the journey that teaches you a lot about your destination.” -Drake

When I first thought of this title, I thought out some deep profound sentences to string together. But then I realized, I didn’t feel like sounding deep and profound, so I put the brakes on writing this blog piece.

Finding myself on the same hamster wheel and never really getting anywhere is starting to really work my nerves. In other words, I’m getting irritated with myself. I’ve never met a more indecisive person than myself. I mean the fact that I’m married is a miracle because I tend to have commitment issues. Yes, this is a new found revelation. Everything I’m good at and everything I’m passionate about are the things I’m always questioning. It would appear that sticking to what I’m good at scares me because what if I *gasp* succeed at what I’m really good at?!

I’m all for keeping my options open and placing eggs in multiple baskets. But I’m too open with my options. And I’ve got eggs in too many baskets. I’m just running that hamster wheel, thinking I’m going somewhere and I’m still in the same place. Oh how annoyed I find myself with myself.

And I know you’re probably thinking, “Krystal, stop being so hard on yourself. It takes some people years to figure things out.” And I’d say, “I guess so!” followed by a half-shoulder shrug.

The point is, I need to break this cycle of making one decision only to think another decision is more appealing. I need to focus on that which I was created to love and follow that path. And not only follow that path, but stay on it regardless of what is waiting for me.

Random Thoughts: The End of NaNoWriMo

So yeah, I definitely stopped participating in National Novel Writing Month…about four days ago. And I was super excited about it, but it just didn’t feel right. I quickly realized that my focus was being pulled away from other writing projects that I would like to pursue. And I battled with the idea of stopping or continuing, but after weighing my options, NaNoWriMo just wasn’t in the cards this year.

Also, it was pulling my focus away from Savannah. I want to spend as much time as possible with her before her baby brother arrives and life changes as we know it, for the better, but with a hectic start.

The reality is, I can work on a novel any time of the year.

 

Random Thoughts: Words I Can’t Handle

We all have words we don’t like. And not just words, phrases and abbreviations as well. We’re just all weird people like that.

“FYI (For Your Information)” doesn’t matter how it’s said, “moist”, and “juicy” top the list of words and phrases that irritate me. “FYI” just sounds snobby to me. I mean there are other ways to inform a person about something without ever having to use “FYI”, but that’s just me. And then “moist” and “juicy” send shivers down my spine. I don’t care if something is legitimately “moist” or “juicy”, those words just shouldn’t be used. I get irrationally irritated by their usage.

And then there are other words, abbreviations, and phrases that irk me:

-Wretching

-Euphemism

-TMI

-IDK

-BRB

-Salivate

-Traverse

-Potty (said to anyone over the age of five)

-Rectum

-Vicissitude

-“Hit me up”

-“If it were a snake it would’ve bit me!”

I’m pretty sure there are more of these that drive me crazy, but these are the things that come to mind…

Y’all the issues are real! But I’m okay with that. We all have words that we hear and it feels like nails on a chalkboard or a gag reflex in the making. That’s just the English language. It’s weird. And I’m pretty sure y’all think I’m weird. But share the words with me that irritate you and I’m pretty sure I’ll be thinking you’re weird too.

 

All For Nothing (Repost)

So, I’m having one of those lovely days where everything feels stupid. I feel like any and everything I’ve done with my writing is for nothing. I just want to stay in bed, put the covers over my head, and give up.

But life doesn’t work like that. Everything I’m doing will one day pay off. That’s what I have to remember. I can’t let a perfectly beautiful day escape me. I can’t ignore the opportunity to add more to a novel. I can’t let the chance to brainstorm a new idea go to waste. I have to keep going, especially on the days I just don’t want to. None of the words seem right, but it’s something written to be edited on another day.

So today sucks. But I’m alive. I’m drinking good coffee. I’m blessed with an opportunity to do some crappy writing. And I have a loving husband and spunky toddler waiting for me when I get home! All is well in the end. Regardless of what my feelings are trying to get me to believe.

 

Living My Best Life Now

Note to self: the best way to enjoy life is to start by enjoying where you’re presently at.

I would love to travel for a living, and so would my husband. But one, I’m too far in my pregnancy to do something as simple as a road trip. Secondly, my husband and I don’t have the money that’s required to travel the way we want to. But it’s a goal we know we want to work towards. So for now, we enjoy exploring the city we live in. We enjoy picking out our next travel destinations. We read about travel destinations. We watch shows that deal with travel. We give ourselves something to look forward to. And most important, we stopped comparing ourselves to people who are already doing the things that we want to do.

Note to self: You’ve already taken one step in the direction of what you want to do.

I’m now a stay-at-home mom. As much as child care would cost for Savannah, it would cost more once Austin arrives. And I would much rather be home with them than to work just to pay for child care. That makes absolutely no sense. So, full time mommy it is. And I’m enjoying it, but I’m still finding my rhythm, which will still take time because we have Austin to throw into the equation. In addition to finding my rhythm with my tiny human, I’m still figuring out the creative avenues I want to take to generate an income while still being home. I know for a fact that I never want to punch on another person’s time clock again. I want to be my own boss. I’m at the bottom of the ladder, so the only other option is to start climbing.

Note to self: As long as you’re breathing, you have life. So live!