I find myself amazed at the little things we learn that makes a big difference for us, just by making small talk. I really don’t like those awkward silence moments and I’m working on being more personable, so I try to make small talk. And I’m pretty good at it. It’s taken some practice, but it’s been worth it!
What I’ve learned about myself is that I like investing in the people around me. Especially if I know they are going to become a part of my life in some kind of way. So the people who work at my favorite coffee shop, I’m going to learn about them. It helps that my husband works at this coffee shop, so getting to know the people have become easier. The library is another place where I take the time to get to know the people who work there. I’m not just a face that comes and goes, so I shouldn’t act like I am. I also shouldn’t act like those people are just faces as well.
Small talk has helped me break out of my shell and in some cases, it has helped me get over myself. I’m not too good to be spoken to and I’m not above speaking to people. Learning how to make small talk has helped me maintain a more level head. It has helped me get off the island I was so determined to stay on.
So, in light of not taking myself too seriously and relaxing more with my writing, I’ve decided to stop using Times New Roman all the time for my font when writing. It’s becoming very boring and routine. I’m tired of being a creature of habit. I mean some habits are good, but then some habits are dumb and I have a propensity to create some very dumb habits. I like putting weird expectations on myself and looking back, it makes being creative less fun. The best part of creating is having fun!
Another thing I’m planning on working on is getting better about not placing unnecessary expectations on myself. If I don’t complete the task I set out for the day, I’m going to be okay. I haven’t died yet from an incomplete art project or half-written blog post and I doubt I ever will. I’ll just stop acting like death is around the corner because I didn’t complete the task. The stark reality is, I have a two-year-old to keep alive and she’s pretty hellbent on killing herself every single day, so my plate is pretty full. Things take time, like greatness! Again, I’ll be okay!
If something isn’t broken, don’t worry about trying to fix it. But if it is broken, and repairs can be made, then make the repairs and come out better for it in the end. At least that’s the lesson for myself.
Have you ever found yourself making a really big deal over a really little thing? Be honest, the answer is yes! We’ve all had the dramatic meltdown over something that is completely irrelevant fifteen minutes after the meltdown is over.
Once again, I had this revelation about myself in the most underwhelming way. I couldn’t find my journal that I bring to church for sermon notes, so I had to grab a little legal pad instead. The legal pad wasn’t what I wanted, but it served its purpose -I got my notes written down. Later on I found the journal on the floor by my desk. Surprisingly, I didn’t have a meltdown this time around, but I have had meltdowns in the past over something as minor as a journal.
It’s a matter of control. I want things to go a certain way and if they don’t then my day is ruined. My Sunday wasn’t ruined though because I couldn’t find that journal. My Sunday was awesome. My kid cooperated the entire morning and no one judged me for taking sermon notes on a junior legal pad instead of inside my cute journal that has all the different names for Jesus on the cover and Bible verses on every page. Nope, I got my notes and I joined that church, and my kid cooperated on the way home! It was a great Sunday.
A lot of things in life aren’t that deep. We just make them that way. I know I do. But I’m 30, so at some point it’s time for me to grow up about a lot of things. I’ll leave the meltdowns to my two-year-old, especially when her Oreo cookies are “stuck” and she can’t open them.
I’m learning to breathe in and then breathe out.
I’ve also started telling myself, “Calm down. It’s not that deep.”
How often do we say we want to do something and never do it?
How often does opportunity come along for us to do something awesome and we come up with reasons not to do it?
One of my favorite books is by Donald Miller. It’s called A Million Miles in a Thousand Years. (If you want to know what it’s about, I suggest you read it!). Anyway, there’s a line in the book that says “live a good story”. I don’t remember what page, but those four words made a difference for me. I’ve sucked at it lately, but I’m making that transition again into living a good story. I come up with too many excuses and I’m simply left with another boring day in the books. What really comes of playing small? What really comes of always playing it safe?
I want to do more. Not just for myself and by myself, but with my husband and daughter and family and friends. The only person who really says we cannot do something is ourselves. I’m my biggest obstacle and I’m learning to simply get out of my way. If I want to do something, I need to figure out a way to get it done. I can’t write about experiences if I don’t have any.
It’s time to stop being boring and start having fun again.
It’s time to add some exciting chapters to the story of my life.
I always hear it said, that anything worth having is worth putting in the hard work for. Which makes sense because easy come, easy go. But still to a degree, I just don’t like doing the hard stuff. I’m shamefully lazy with my work. And I can be better. I mean, at this point, I don’t have a choice. More and more my writing is starting to mean more to me, so more and more I need to invest more into what I’m doing. Yes, some days may not be as productive as others, but I need to at least make some kind of effort, even if it’s just an idea jotted down.
I’ve set myself up with a lot of work to do. Not just with my writing, but with my art as well. And giving birth, will momentarily bring a lot of this work to a halt in December, but the groundwork is being laid out. NaNoWriMo is next month, so I’m pretty excited about that! Last year, I wrote a fictional novel. This year, I’m going for nonfiction! And I’ll probably be way more committed in the writing process this year because what I’m going to be working on is very near and dear to my heart!
I just need to stop being a bum about my writing. I just need to stop being a bum about my creative endeavors in general. I’m growing up. And though some parts hurt, other parts feel good. In the end, I’ll be better for giving myself swift kicks in the butt when I’m slacking!
So, I have some work cut out for me, especially since NaNoWriMo is next month and I fully intend on participating while still preparing for the arrival of my second born! December probably won’t be a big writing month for me, unless I write enough material ahead of time and schedule posts throughout the month. But for October and November there will be a lot of writing because I have planned a lot for myself.
For starters, I plan on doing blog posts based on the book that I will be attempting to write during NaNoWriMo and those blog posts will be for November. It just seems fitting. And then I started another blog specifically dedicated to my poetry because I love writing poetry. Poetry was my first love and I want to get back to that. So I will be sharing poems from my past as well as newly written poems.
I’ve set up a lot of work for myself. But I’m okay with that. I want to write more and I want to have fun in the process, so I will. I take myself too seriously when it comes to my writing and it’s not that deep. If I want more out of my writing, I need to expect more of myself when it comes to my writing.
Yesterday, I reached 100 followers!!!! Yay me! I set that at as goal at the beginning of the year, but didn’t think I would actually achieve it! Maybe I should have more confidence in myself. I guess the next big goal is 101 followers and then I’ll just take it one follower at a time. But in having achieved 100 followers, I’m seeing that it’s definitely important for me to start investing more in my writing. So, I will. I mean, I’ve figured out a style that I’m comfortable with in my writing. I call it “random as hell”, but really it’s conversational. Anyone who’s had a conversation with me knows, I can be pretty random!
I fully intend to invest in my craft more. I’m also going to stop forcing posts. I always want to try and have a post for every day, but the reality is, that doesn’t always work out in my favor. Now, my daughter is gone with her grandparents for the next few days, so I’ll definitely have the opportunity to crank out some posts and get them prepped and ready to go.
I’m proud of this achievement and thank you to my followers for making this achievement happen! There’s much more to come from me in the future.