I tend to come up with some great things to write when the words are swirling around in my head. But when it comes time to actually write the words down or type them out, all the words become impossible to transfer over from my mind.
I have this fear that if I write down what’s really going through my head, I’ll see myself in a different light. I’ll be introduced to a side of myself that should be taken seriously. Being a kid at heart is fine and all, but I find that I do tend to show my adult side when writing. There’s nothing wrong with that side. I need to embrace that side of me even more.
I also have this fear of people’s reactions to my words. It’s okay to care, but I care too much! Not everyone is going to like my writing. I need to be okay with that. I have to write for myself first and then share my words from there. I can’t please everyone and that isn’t my goal, but I still let my thoughts get the better of me.
The words that scare me (for whatever reason at the time) simply need to be written one word at a time. I have a lot that I want to say. I have a lot that I want to share. I don’t want to be scared of being myself. I don’t want to be scared to learn about myself along the way as I get better with my writing. I don’t want to be scared to learn about others along the way as I get better with my writing. I just have to face whatever scares me head on with my writing and find assurance that things will work out for the better more than for the worst.
I always hear it said, that anything worth having is worth putting in the hard work for. Which makes sense because easy come, easy go. But still to a degree, I just don’t like doing the hard stuff. I’m shamefully lazy with my work. And I can be better. I mean, at this point, I don’t have a choice. More and more my writing is starting to mean more to me, so more and more I need to invest more into what I’m doing. Yes, some days may not be as productive as others, but I need to at least make some kind of effort, even if it’s just an idea jotted down.
I’ve set myself up with a lot of work to do. Not just with my writing, but with my art as well. And giving birth, will momentarily bring a lot of this work to a halt in December, but the groundwork is being laid out. NaNoWriMo is next month, so I’m pretty excited about that! Last year, I wrote a fictional novel. This year, I’m going for nonfiction! And I’ll probably be way more committed in the writing process this year because what I’m going to be working on is very near and dear to my heart!
I just need to stop being a bum about my writing. I just need to stop being a bum about my creative endeavors in general. I’m growing up. And though some parts hurt, other parts feel good. In the end, I’ll be better for giving myself swift kicks in the butt when I’m slacking!
I tend to do this thing where I convince myself that I have nothing to write about. I act like it’s a massive dread to sit down and start punching away at the keys on my laptop and just type one word after another until, viola!, I’ve actually written something. I just don’t get myself sometimes. But whatever, I’m still growing up.
The best thing I’m learning for myself is to jot down my ideas. And even if I don’t do anything with that idea in the moment, it’s written down and not forgotten. I can work on it over time and eventually turn it into something more. Not forcing the words is always the best case scenario. And I’m finally figuring that out, but like I said, I’m still growing up. So, some of my blog posts will just be “dump posts” in which I’m just writing for the sake of writing, but I still like it enough to share with the world.
So this is my first official “dump post”. This is a reminder to myself that I am capable of writing something because I’m never truly in short supply of words. I just need to remember to take the words that are swimming in my head and just type them out or hand write them out, depending on what suits my fancy in the moment.
As time progresses and I get better and more comfortable with my writing, I won’t consider any of my writing “dump posts”, but in the meantime it is what it is. I want to write because I love writing and I love finding ways to inspire people or just make them laugh. I’m working to become a master of my craft.
I was driving home from the library today, when I realized that I need to become more serious about my writing. Even if I don’t share the writing, I need to start taking the time to write the things that scare me. One big reason why I love writing so much is because it allows me the freedom to be whatever voice I want to be. And while I’ve grown comfortable with the many different voices I can be in my writing, the voice I’ve come to fear most is my own. It’s not so much that I won’t like what I have to say because I’m with my thoughts all the time. I’m perfectly fine with what I have to say, it’s just the fear that others won’t like what I have to say. But being fearful of the opinion of others should not keep me from taking a more serious approach to my craft.
So, even if I don’t post anything serious for a long time, I can at least start practicing. And when I get comfortable with balancing being a goofball and being serious with my writing, it won’t matter what I write, when I share it, or the reactions that I get. I just want to become more comfortable with every aspect of who I am as a writer.