So yeah, I definitely stopped participating in National Novel Writing Month…about four days ago. And I was super excited about it, but it just didn’t feel right. I quickly realized that my focus was being pulled away from other writing projects that I would like to pursue. And I battled with the idea of stopping or continuing, but after weighing my options, NaNoWriMo just wasn’t in the cards this year.
Also, it was pulling my focus away from Savannah. I want to spend as much time as possible with her before her baby brother arrives and life changes as we know it, for the better, but with a hectic start.
The reality is, I can work on a novel any time of the year.
Well it’s official, I’m not going to succeed at NaNoWriMo doing the whole planning and outlining thing. I had it all set up. I had a game plan. And then my brain was like “Nope, not gonna work!” So I’m going to do what I did last year, take my idea and work it out one written word at a time.
If I’m going to be successful with NaNoWriMo two years in a row, then I have to stay true to who I am as a first draft writer. No planning out the idea. Just taking the idea and running with it. I know what my end goal is. Obviously, it’s 50,000 words in a month. But it’s also to complete the first draft, so that I’ll have a foundation for the second draft.
Write the crap. Then clean the crap up. That appears to be my modus operandi when writing!
So, in light of not taking myself too seriously and relaxing more with my writing, I’ve decided to stop using Times New Roman all the time for my font when writing. It’s becoming very boring and routine. I’m tired of being a creature of habit. I mean some habits are good, but then some habits are dumb and I have a propensity to create some very dumb habits. I like putting weird expectations on myself and looking back, it makes being creative less fun. The best part of creating is having fun!
Another thing I’m planning on working on is getting better about not placing unnecessary expectations on myself. If I don’t complete the task I set out for the day, I’m going to be okay. I haven’t died yet from an incomplete art project or half-written blog post and I doubt I ever will. I’ll just stop acting like death is around the corner because I didn’t complete the task. The stark reality is, I have a two-year-old to keep alive and she’s pretty hellbent on killing herself every single day, so my plate is pretty full. Things take time, like greatness! Again, I’ll be okay!
If something isn’t broken, don’t worry about trying to fix it. But if it is broken, and repairs can be made, then make the repairs and come out better for it in the end. At least that’s the lesson for myself.
Yesterday, I reached 100 followers!!!! Yay me! I set that at as goal at the beginning of the year, but didn’t think I would actually achieve it! Maybe I should have more confidence in myself. I guess the next big goal is 101 followers and then I’ll just take it one follower at a time. But in having achieved 100 followers, I’m seeing that it’s definitely important for me to start investing more in my writing. So, I will. I mean, I’ve figured out a style that I’m comfortable with in my writing. I call it “random as hell”, but really it’s conversational. Anyone who’s had a conversation with me knows, I can be pretty random!
I fully intend to invest in my craft more. I’m also going to stop forcing posts. I always want to try and have a post for every day, but the reality is, that doesn’t always work out in my favor. Now, my daughter is gone with her grandparents for the next few days, so I’ll definitely have the opportunity to crank out some posts and get them prepped and ready to go.
I’m proud of this achievement and thank you to my followers for making this achievement happen! There’s much more to come from me in the future.
I’ve recently come to two conclusions…
The first conclusion is now that I’m a stay-at-home mom, I don’t ever want to have to punch on to somebody else’s time clock. And as a result of that first conclusion, the second conclusion is that I need to work extra hard on that which God has created me to love.
I am passionate about writing, photography, and art. And I am passionate about travel. It’s time to stop being afraid of doing and actually start doing. I’m not living my life if I’m just sitting on the sidelines waiting for everything to perfectly fall into place.
Life would definitely be much more fulfilling for me, if I stopped being afraid of mistakes, shortcomings, setbacks, and the opinions of others. Life would be much more adventurous if I stop waiting for the right moment and just create the right moment. Sure, I have a two-year-old daughter and another one due in December, but they can come along on the adventures. I have to stop using motherhood as an excuse to stay home all the time and not go anywhere or do anything. I also have to stop waiting for my toddler to be 100% cooperative before we get ready to go anywhere as well.
I can take the easy route and wait for things to fall into place before I just get up and go and start doing things. But I’ve been taking that route for awhile and nothing that was truly amazing has come of it. So now is the time to take the road less traveled and start making things happen. If I want an adventure, then I simply need to start taking an adventure!
So, I’m having one of those lovely days where everything feels stupid. I feel like any and everything I’ve done with my writing is for nothing. I just want to stay in bed, put the covers over my head, and give up.
But life doesn’t work like that. Everything I’m doing will one day pay off. That’s what I have to remember. I can’t let a perfectly beautiful day escape me. I can’t ignore the opportunity to add more to a novel. I can’t let the chance to brainstorm a new idea go to waste. I have to keep going, especially on the days I just don’t want to. None of the words seem right, but it’s something written to be edited on another day.
So today sucks. But I’m alive. I’m drinking good coffee. I’m blessed with an opportunity to do some crappy writing. And I have a loving husband and spunky toddler waiting for me when I get home! All is well in the end. Regardless of what my feelings are trying to get me to believe.