Social Media Comparison

I like scrolling through social media. Facebook and Instagram are my favorite to scroll through. Facebook has a tendency to annoy me at times, but then there are times where my timeline is pretty hilarious. But still, I can find myself losing track of time on Instagram and Facebook.

One thing I’ve stopped doing though is comparing myself and my life to what other people are posting on their social media feeds. I mean it’s very easy to post the highlights of our lives. It’s very easy to make ourselves something we aren’t when it comes to our social media accounts. I’ve fallen into that trap. But now, I simply don’t care. I’ve learned how to appreciate what people are sharing about their lives without feeling like I have to get out there and do the same thing. I’ve stopped envying people based on what they put on social media. Many times we’re all different people when we log off our Instagram, Snapchat, and Facebook accounts.

I’ve also stopped caring about what other people are doing on social media because they basically post everything. It’s like nothing is off limits. That genuinely irritates me too. But whatever, we’re all allowed to do what we choose to do with our social media accounts. If I don’t like it, I don’t have to follow it. Easy as that. Gotta love simple solutions to the things that bother us. And again, I used to be that person who posted everything on social media. The more likes, the more accepted I felt. But that’s wrong. When I realized that I tied my self-worth to number of likes I got, I knew it was time for me to change my perspective on why I wanted to use social media.

Over the past few years, I’ve learned to stop being jealous of what people are doing with their lives and sharing on social media. I’ve also learned to stop feeling inadequate because I wasn’t doing the same things as other people. And I’ve stopped posting things just for the sake of likes. If there’s something I want to do, then I’ll do it. And if there’s a place I want to go, then I’ll go. My favorite feature on Instagram is the stories. I can share something and it’s gone within 24 hours. I don’t need to post everything on social media to prove it happened. As my mindsets have changed in regards to social media, I’ve been able to enjoy scrolling through my feeds without feeling like I’m not doing anything with my life. I mean I’m not (just kidding) but I’ve learned to appreciate the lives other people live while loving my own.

Breaking the Cycle

“Sometimes it’s the journey that teaches you a lot about your destination.” -Drake

When I first thought of this title, I thought out some deep profound sentences to string together. But then I realized, I didn’t feel like sounding deep and profound, so I put the brakes on writing this blog piece.

Finding myself on the same hamster wheel and never really getting anywhere is starting to really work my nerves. In other words, I’m getting irritated with myself. I’ve never met a more indecisive person than myself. I mean the fact that I’m married is a miracle because I tend to have commitment issues. Yes, this is a new found revelation. Everything I’m good at and everything I’m passionate about are the things I’m always questioning. It would appear that sticking to what I’m good at scares me because what if I *gasp* succeed at what I’m really good at?!

I’m all for keeping my options open and placing eggs in multiple baskets. But I’m too open with my options. And I’ve got eggs in too many baskets. I’m just running that hamster wheel, thinking I’m going somewhere and I’m still in the same place. Oh how annoyed I find myself with myself.

And I know you’re probably thinking, “Krystal, stop being so hard on yourself. It takes some people years to figure things out.” And I’d say, “I guess so!” followed by a half-shoulder shrug.

The point is, I need to break this cycle of making one decision only to think another decision is more appealing. I need to focus on that which I was created to love and follow that path. And not only follow that path, but stay on it regardless of what is waiting for me.

Random Thoughts: The End of NaNoWriMo

So yeah, I definitely stopped participating in National Novel Writing Month…about four days ago. And I was super excited about it, but it just didn’t feel right. I quickly realized that my focus was being pulled away from other writing projects that I would like to pursue. And I battled with the idea of stopping or continuing, but after weighing my options, NaNoWriMo just wasn’t in the cards this year.

Also, it was pulling my focus away from Savannah. I want to spend as much time as possible with her before her baby brother arrives and life changes as we know it, for the better, but with a hectic start.

The reality is, I can work on a novel any time of the year.

 

Random Thoughts: The Start of NaNoWriMo

Well, tomorrow marks the start of National Novel Writing Month and I’m pretty excited! Not like super excited, but excited enough that I’ll meet my daily goal of 1,667 words. The upside is that Savannah will be with her grandparents, so that leaves uninterrupted time to write. The downside is I made plans with a friend for an afternoon lunch and then I have plans with my husband for some get together at this job. But whatever the case, I’m pretty sure I’ll get the word count knocked out.

My biggest advantage is that I plan to jump around with my writing. I won’t do like I did last year and drive myself crazy trying to force words that just weren’t there. If I feel like working on Chapter Ten before Chapter Seven, then that’s what I’ll do. The most planning I’ve done is come up with titles for each chapter. That’s about all the guidelines I’ve given myself. Everything else, I’m pulling from my head like Dumbledore’s thoughts going into his Pensieve.

It’s gonna be a fun month. I mean right after I finish using the month of November to write my first draft of a book, all that effort will be completely forgotten as I prepare to give birth to my son, Austin, at the beginning of December!

 

Living My Best Life Now

Note to self: the best way to enjoy life is to start by enjoying where you’re presently at.

I would love to travel for a living, and so would my husband. But one, I’m too far in my pregnancy to do something as simple as a road trip. Secondly, my husband and I don’t have the money that’s required to travel the way we want to. But it’s a goal we know we want to work towards. So for now, we enjoy exploring the city we live in. We enjoy picking out our next travel destinations. We read about travel destinations. We watch shows that deal with travel. We give ourselves something to look forward to. And most important, we stopped comparing ourselves to people who are already doing the things that we want to do.

Note to self: You’ve already taken one step in the direction of what you want to do.

I’m now a stay-at-home mom. As much as child care would cost for Savannah, it would cost more once Austin arrives. And I would much rather be home with them than to work just to pay for child care. That makes absolutely no sense. So, full time mommy it is. And I’m enjoying it, but I’m still finding my rhythm, which will still take time because we have Austin to throw into the equation. In addition to finding my rhythm with my tiny human, I’m still figuring out the creative avenues I want to take to generate an income while still being home. I know for a fact that I never want to punch on another person’s time clock again. I want to be my own boss. I’m at the bottom of the ladder, so the only other option is to start climbing.

Note to self: As long as you’re breathing, you have life. So live!

 

Making Small Talk

I find myself amazed at the little things we learn that makes a big difference for us, just by making small talk. I really don’t like those awkward silence moments and I’m working on being more personable, so I try to make small talk. And I’m pretty good at it. It’s taken some practice, but it’s been worth it!

What I’ve learned about myself is that I like investing in the people around me. Especially if I know they are going to become a part of my life in some kind of way. So the people who work at my favorite coffee shop, I’m going to learn about them. It helps that my husband works at this coffee shop, so getting to know the people have become easier. The library is another place where I take the time to get to know the people who work there. I’m not just a face that comes and goes, so I shouldn’t act like I am. I also shouldn’t act like those people are just faces as well.

Small talk has helped me break out of my shell and in some cases, it has helped me get over myself. I’m not too good to be spoken to and I’m not above speaking to people. Learning how to make small talk has helped me maintain a more level head. It has helped me get off the island I was so determined to stay on.

 

The Things About Kids

I’ve come to realize, I never really put my daughter’s name in my post. I mean, if you click on the “Who I Am” link, you’ll see her name and my son’s name, even though he hasn’t made his grand arrival yet! He’s being shy, until December! Anyway, in light of making being changes with my writing, I’m realizing that my writing flows better when I’m more personable. So from here on out, instead of saying “my daughter,” I will say “Savannah” because that’s her name.

So, to move on from that intro of a tangent, Savannah keeps life very interesting for me and my husband.  We’re both firstborns and we never gave our parents that much grief. We saved that for our teenage years. However, both of us have younger brothers, who were the wild childs. We really thought Savannah would take after us as firstborns, but she took after her uncles! So, we’re really hoping our second born, Austin, will take after us in being more laid back. I have more gray hairs at 30 than I thought I ever would. I’ve also had many heart attacks as well. My sole objectives as a mother with my daughter was to love on her every day, introduce her to Jesus early on in life, and show her that anything is possible. I figured she’d be the walk in the park child. I was so wrong! Now granted, she gets more kisses and hugs than she knows what to do with, she’s been to church enough to know she’s going to get Goldfish crackers and toys to play with, and she’s pretty headstrong on doing what she wants. So I’m succeeding in my objectives, just not the way I thought I would.

The thing about kids is they show you a lot about yourself. I’ve learned where I need to be patient. I’ve learned where I need to be more sterned. I’ve learned that sometimes being the fun cool mom in the moment is better than being the tyrant dictator who demands the sippy cup be picked up off the floor. I don’t have a bad daughter. Savannah is wonderful and amazing and she’s the motivation that keeps me going every single day. But when she yells “Help” while I’m walking out of Wal-Mart with her (and people are looking) and flips herself off the couch and shoves more food in her mouth while she’s already choking, I wonder if she’s trying to shave years off my life. The she quickly answers the question with “No” when she decides to give me a kiss out of the blue, or a hug, or my absolute favorite, cuddle time! She’s a precious little menace or an adorable little savage depending on the day. Either way, she knows how to pull on my heartstrings.

Savannah keeps me young. She reminds me to live life and to stop taking everything so seriously. She reminds me to dream and use my imagination. She helps me see the familiar with fresh eyes. She reminds me there is a God and He’s a very good and awesome God. She makes me want to become better because I want to live and lead by example. Having kids is a rollercoaster of emotions and experiences. Some days feel like they will never end and some days go by too quickly. But whether she’s trying to give me a heart attack or a very sticky kiss, I enjoy it all. One day, she won’t be this sweet two-year-old asking for chips and cookies for breakfast. She’ll be leaving for college.

“The days are long, but the years are short.” I’ve heard that many times and I believe it. So, I’ll take each day in stride. I’m pretty sure everything Savannah didn’t do in her first two years, Austin will. One adventure is going to follow another. That’s just the thing about kids. There will be different personalities and different experiences. But it will be one home full of love, happiness, and zero dull moments!