Oh, The Words I Could Write

My present location is The Red Cat Coffeehouse in Birmingham. My original plan was to go to the Birmingham Museum of Art first and then pick a coffeehouse to hang out in. But plans don’t always go the way we want, so I’m sitting in my favorite coffeehouse in Birmingham and I’m doing some much needed writing. I’ll pick a day of the week to have my littles watched and then come up to Birmingham and visit the museum when it isn’t so busy.

So, it’s nice to be out of my comfort zone. I’m out of my messy, cozy apartment. I’m out of my city. I’m away from my usual distractions and all I can think is, “Yay, let’s write!” When I’m not writing, I’m doing a lot of thinking, and I’ve had a lot of time to, once again, figure out what I want my blog focus to be! It’s pretty obvious too: my adventures as a stay-at-home mom! There’s never a dull moment in the Pezzulo household and I need to document my shenanigans more often. I’m far from perfect as a wife and mother. I don’t care about sharing my flaws and I definitely don’t care about who will say what based on my highs and lows in my everyday life!

I’m enjoying a very delicious drink called The Persian and I’m excited to think about all the things I could write about today! The real challenge though is finding the time to write between Austin spitting up on me and cleaning up whatever mess Savannah decided to make while drinking water out of her sippy cup!

Challenge accepted for getting more writing done while keeping my children alive! Today is a breeze to write because I don’t have any distractions. But today is again my starting point to become more consistent with my writing!

Kid Free Kind of Day

It has definitely been a good day. It’s amazing what ten-plus hours of sleep can do for a person! And the silence of not hearing a crying baby and a screaming toddler is pretty nice too. Although, admittedly, I do miss the noise, but only a little. It’s just been nice to have a break and remember what it feels like to sleep and eat food while it’s still hot. What else has been cool is being able to just leave without having two tiny humans tagging along. It was weird, just walking out the door by myself, but still nice!

Now don’t get me wrong, I love Savannah and Austin, but it has been nice to get in bed and stay there unless I have to go to the bathroom! But staying in bed wasn’t that hard last night because I decided it would be a good idea to take down an entire bottle of Riesling. I remember everything I did last night, so I didn’t get plastered. However, I did have a lot of fun dancing in the kitchen and painting. Now, never again will I drink an entire bottle of wine by myself in one evening. Next time, I’ll stretch it over two.

I had fun jumping on the couch this afternoon, just because I could. I see why Savannah loves jumping on the couch more than the beds, but I still have to be a responsible adult and tell her

not to jump on either one. Shoot, I almost fell off the couch while jumping on it. That would be very fun to explain if I did fall and definitely hurt something.

Right now, I’m a 30 year old, sitting in her favorite coffee shop working on this blog and maybe a little more writing before heading home and doing something else stupid like laundry and cleaning the kitchen! I cherish these days. They remind me that I love my children, but I also love my me time!

Terrible Twos and a Newborn

So by the grace of God have I survived this past month. I knew it was going to be an adjustment for Savannah once Austin was born, but I underestimated how much of an effect it would have on her. I know every child reacts differently to things. When my little brother was born, I was excited and couldn’t wait to hold him. Depending on which way the wind is blowing, Savannah may or may not be excited about her brother’s existence. Some moments she’s announcing his diaper change while I’m changing his diaper. Other moments she’s trying to take down the Christmas tree or slap me because I can’t immediately give her the attention she wants. It’s all expected and I’m handling it with a lot of patience, prayer, and the occasional very stern mom voice.

But let’s throw something else into this lovely equation of going from one child to two. Savannah is two. And she’s in that sweet spot of being a two year old where all hell can break loose at any given moment and I forget to call on the name of Jesus and ask Him to take the wheel. She lets off screams at decibels that shouldn’t exist. She’s a tornado, hurricane, and tsunami all in one when making a mess. She’s a freaking bottomless pit who eats more cereal and chicken nuggets than a grown-up. She treats naptime and bedtime like it’s a capital punishment. And she tends to have monopoly on my iPad with ABC Mouse and on the television with Mickey and the Roadster Racers. Meanwhile, Austin is either noisily sleeping or noisily eating. My desire for a third child went out the window in my second trimester of pregnancy with Austin. But now that he’s here, the idea of making him a middle child has been obliterated! I’m thankful for my daughter and son.

I know one day I’ll look up and Savannah will be off to college and Austin will be asking if he can have her room. I know the days are long and the years are short. And as stressful as it can be raising tiny human beings, I wouldn’t trade any of these moments away for anything. Sure, I wish Savannah would be less of a daredevil and listen more. And yes, I wish she would stop taking my food, but one day I’m going to look up and she will a civilized human being who’s ready to take on the world. And a day will come when Austin sleeps through the night and he’ll be crawling behind Savannah trying to keep up. I’ll have to endure his terrible two phase and I’ll probably want to relocate him to his grandparents permanently, but the day will come when he’s a grown man with a family of his own.

One thing is definitely for sure though. I won’t be in short supply of writing material anytime soon!

Sleepless Nights

In the short two years since giving birth to Savannah, I quickly forgot about the sleepless nights situation. Now, fast forward to my precious three-week-old son, Austin, and I’m quickly refreshed on how many nights I won’t be getting any sleep. I mean thankfully, I have enough coffee to run my own coffee shop if I wanted, but still a few hours of sleep won’t hurt either.

And speaking of sleep, Savannah and Austin are both taking a nap right now and instead of being sleep myself, I’m writing this blog and eating the cold chicken nuggets and fries Savannah didn’t want to finish for her lunch. Yes, I’m complaining about being tired, but not taking advantage of a prime opportunity to get some rest. I’m weird like that. Also, I’m enjoying the peace and quiet, save a few grunts from Austin as he passes gas in his sleep. I’m glad he’s cute and adorable!

Anyway, it was about four months before Savannah fully started sleeping through the night. So, I’m hoping that Austin follows the same timeline, but he probably won’t because every child is different. All right, I’m going to go to sleep now. Maybe I’ll get ten straight minutes of sleep before one of my littles decides to wake up!

The Things About Kids

I’ve come to realize, I never really put my daughter’s name in my post. I mean, if you click on the “Who I Am” link, you’ll see her name and my son’s name, even though he hasn’t made his grand arrival yet! He’s being shy, until December! Anyway, in light of making being changes with my writing, I’m realizing that my writing flows better when I’m more personable. So from here on out, instead of saying “my daughter,” I will say “Savannah” because that’s her name.

So, to move on from that intro of a tangent, Savannah keeps life very interesting for me and my husband.  We’re both firstborns and we never gave our parents that much grief. We saved that for our teenage years. However, both of us have younger brothers, who were the wild childs. We really thought Savannah would take after us as firstborns, but she took after her uncles! So, we’re really hoping our second born, Austin, will take after us in being more laid back. I have more gray hairs at 30 than I thought I ever would. I’ve also had many heart attacks as well. My sole objectives as a mother with my daughter was to love on her every day, introduce her to Jesus early on in life, and show her that anything is possible. I figured she’d be the walk in the park child. I was so wrong! Now granted, she gets more kisses and hugs than she knows what to do with, she’s been to church enough to know she’s going to get Goldfish crackers and toys to play with, and she’s pretty headstrong on doing what she wants. So I’m succeeding in my objectives, just not the way I thought I would.

The thing about kids is they show you a lot about yourself. I’ve learned where I need to be patient. I’ve learned where I need to be more sterned. I’ve learned that sometimes being the fun cool mom in the moment is better than being the tyrant dictator who demands the sippy cup be picked up off the floor. I don’t have a bad daughter. Savannah is wonderful and amazing and she’s the motivation that keeps me going every single day. But when she yells “Help” while I’m walking out of Wal-Mart with her (and people are looking) and flips herself off the couch and shoves more food in her mouth while she’s already choking, I wonder if she’s trying to shave years off my life. The she quickly answers the question with “No” when she decides to give me a kiss out of the blue, or a hug, or my absolute favorite, cuddle time! She’s a precious little menace or an adorable little savage depending on the day. Either way, she knows how to pull on my heartstrings.

Savannah keeps me young. She reminds me to live life and to stop taking everything so seriously. She reminds me to dream and use my imagination. She helps me see the familiar with fresh eyes. She reminds me there is a God and He’s a very good and awesome God. She makes me want to become better because I want to live and lead by example. Having kids is a rollercoaster of emotions and experiences. Some days feel like they will never end and some days go by too quickly. But whether she’s trying to give me a heart attack or a very sticky kiss, I enjoy it all. One day, she won’t be this sweet two-year-old asking for chips and cookies for breakfast. She’ll be leaving for college.

“The days are long, but the years are short.” I’ve heard that many times and I believe it. So, I’ll take each day in stride. I’m pretty sure everything Savannah didn’t do in her first two years, Austin will. One adventure is going to follow another. That’s just the thing about kids. There will be different personalities and different experiences. But it will be one home full of love, happiness, and zero dull moments!

 

New Leafs in Motherhood

There is an ever growing love in being a mother. Some days are good and then some days are better, but there is never, ever a dull moment with my daughter. I’m sure once my son arrives, the dull moments will become phenomenally less. But each day I definitely learn something more about myself and at present, about my daughter.

I’ve recently decided that knee-jerk reactions aren’t the way to go with my daughter. One reason is she thinks it’s funny and imitates it before repeating the very thing she got in trouble for. The second reason is because the more I observe some of her behavior, the more I realize some of the things she does, she got from me or her father. So is it really fair to get upset with her for doing something that she’s seen us do?

Another baby step on the road of motherhood. Some of the things my daughter does, she learned from her parents. That’s just a reality. And if I don’t want her doing something, I need to make sure I’m not doing it myself. Whether she’s watching me or not, I need to make sure I’m setting a positive example for her. I don’t want her to be the kind of child that has a knee-jerk reaction to things, so I’m working on getting better about my knee-jerk reactions. I’ve definitely got an uphill climb ahead of me.

 

Mother of Imperfection

Oh, if there is one thing motherhood has taught me very quickly is that failure is inevitable! And in learning that failure is inevitable, it’s freed me up to learn as I go and it’s teaching my daughter, that yes, sometimes her mother sucks, but her mother loves her very much! I honestly don’t know why the thought of  “getting it right” ever went through my head. Now, I’m obviously not going to fail in the department of my child’s well-being, but sometimes I’ll forget to let her food cool off a little longer before giving it to her. Apparently, when she was a crawler, I dropped her once not realizing it while I putting her down, but that’s according to my husband, and she showed no indication of having been dropped, so the jury is still out on that one.

Failing has also taught me to roll with the punches. Learn from the mistakes and don’t make them again. How I respond to those mistakes is what makes me stronger and draws me closer to my daughter. Once I accidentally made her bath water too hot and I beat myself up over it for hours. I was distraught enough that my husband had to run the bath again because I didn’t trust myself. I’m passed that fear now, but my daughter never got mad at me. She wasn’t looking at me like, “You savage, you tried to burn me with the water.” No, she splished and splashed in the bathtub, fought us while we dried her off and got her dressed, cuddled with us during storytime, and kissed us good night before bed. Where I saw myself as a failure, my daughter just still saw the mommy she loved very much. So, I don’t beat myself up over the mishaps. I make sure they don’t happen again, I remember my child loves me, and remember that I’m not a terrible person.

I have no intentions of screwing my children up to the point they cannot be functioning adults. I have to remember that’s not what’s happen when I fall short of my expectations. My daughter knows she’s loved and taken care of and she’s one of the happiest babies I’ve encountered in my life, so I thank God for that! And when my son gets here in December, he’ll learn along the way just how much he’s loved and taken care even though his mother is going to make a whole new set of mistakes with him.

I’m not a perfect person. Only perfect person I know of is Jesus Christ. I will not get everything in this life right, I’m not supposed to. And I’m thankful I’ve learned this two years into being a mother because it frees me up to remember I’m still loved even when I make mistakes!