The Words that Scare Me

I tend to come up with some great things to write when the words are swirling around in my head. But when it comes time to actually write the words down or type them out, all the words become impossible to transfer over from my mind.

I have this fear that if I write down what’s really going through my head, I’ll see myself in a different light. I’ll be introduced to a side of myself that should be taken seriously. Being a kid at heart is fine and all, but I find that I do tend to show my adult side when writing. There’s nothing wrong with that side. I need to embrace that side of me even more.

I also have this fear of people’s reactions to my words. It’s okay to care, but I care too much! Not everyone is going to like my writing. I need to be okay with that. I have to write for myself first and then share my words from there. I can’t please everyone and that isn’t my goal, but I still let my thoughts get the better of me.

The words that scare me (for whatever reason at the time) simply need to be written one word at a time. I have a lot that I want to say. I have a lot that I want to share. I don’t want to be scared of being myself. I don’t want to be scared to learn about myself along the way as I get better with my writing. I don’t want to be scared to learn about others along the way as I get better with my writing. I just have to face whatever scares me head on with my writing and find assurance that things will work out for the better more than for the worst.

Rejection

I recently received my first rejection letter for a short story submission. I’m pretty damn happy about it too! I know you’re probably wondering how I could be happy about a rejection and the explanation is simple: I submitted something to be rejected.

It has taken me two years to build up the courage to submit a short story. I alway come up with an excuse as to why I shouldn’t complete the story so that I have something to submit. Being rejected was the biggest reason I wouldn’t follow through with a submission. But this year, I did. And this year, I got rejected. And after that rejection I’m still alive. My desire to write has not been dampened. I don’t feel like a failure. I don’t feel like I’m never going to be successful. I feel like I’m going to take that rejected short story and post it on Wattpad. And from there, I’m going to write another short story and submit that one as well. And if that one gets rejected, it goes on Wattpad too. These rejected short stories won’t die. I see that now. My ability to create will not fizzle out. That’s what that rejection letter has shown me.

So I’m proud of myself! I’m built of stronger stuff than I realized.